sedih sih, tapi...

gw tau sekarang temen gw lagi ada yg sedih bgt, gw bisa ngerasain ko, and i knew it's not that easy to ignore it..
mang ga enak banget sih nunggu hal yg ga jelas gitu...*sigh*
dan ini ngebuat gw jd ikutan sedih juga even hati gw lagi seneng, hehehe
emang yah, gaada yg tau sekarang atau besok, roda bener2 berputar, happiness yg awalnya ada di genggaman aja bisa dissapear, and then suddenly gone with the wind

me, as an example..sebulan yg lalu, gw lagi sedih2nya bgt karena dikecewain sama orang yg gw sayang sampe kepikiran kl gaakan ada yg bisa buat gw senyum lagi...saking kecewanya tuh, gw bisa sedesperate itu

but see me now...
gatau kenapa, tiba2 adaaaaaa aja unexpected things come into my life and make me smile again
ga gw sangka2 bgt pokonya dan gw tau sekarang kl Allah selalu punya rencana yg indah buat gw, tanpa gw sangka-sangka bikin hidup gw seru dan berwarna...*alhamdulillah*

hikmah yg bisa gw ambil dari semua kejadian2 itu adalah dengan kesabaran dan keikhlasan akan ngebuat kita semakin mature and wise menghadapi semua masalah dalam hidup ini, no matter how hard it is, kl kita deket sama Allah, sang maha berkehendak, it's so easy to move on from the hardest time tough, dan gw dah ngalamin itu semua, rasanya gw sendiri ga percaya aja kl ternyata gw bisa lewatin itu semua, *sigh* makasih ya Allah...

buat temen2 gw yg lagi resah dan gelisah ngadepin masalah dalam hidup ini, apapun masalahnya, semoga smakin deketin diri sama Allah dan get the best way out dengan ikhlas dan sabar, amin

well guys, jaz embrace ur sadness and u'll be stronger than before

so last year..

lagi iseng-iseng buka folder email tahun 2007, eeeeehhh nemuin satu email yang pernah gw kirim ke someone, menye2 bgt sih but touchy, lucu juga hahahahaha bikin gw ngetawain diri sendiri karena bodohnya gw ternyata, segittuuuunya deeeeh, padahal sekarang kl inget orangnya juga ilfil, ga pentiiiiingg...*moga2 orangnya ga baca deh,hehehe*

I have nothing to do to change ur mind
But it comes easily out of my mind
Even sometimes we can't make it on our own
It's simple for u to think for a moment
Hope, u take it positively..

What if there was no light
Nothing's wrong, nothing's right
What if there was no time
And no reason, or rhyme

What if you should decide
That you don't want me there by your side
That you don't want me there in your life

What if I got it wrong
And no poem or song
Could put right what I got wrong
Or make you feel I belong

That's right
Let's take a breath, jump over the side
How can you know it if you don't even try
You know that darkness always turns into light

That's right..
Every step that you take
Could be your biggest mistake
It could bend or it could break
But that's the risk that you take..


i sent it to "J" on January 8th, 2007, a year ago...
realized how stupid i was when i fallen in love but it happens to me over and over agaiiinnn...*oooggh Goodness!!*
i still can't figure it out what went wrong till it broke before it bent
my dream was crashing down and devastated at the end *sigh*
i wasn't supposed to end up like that but that's a destiny
kalo dah ngomongin soal destiny, it means only Allah knows
this is obviously very difficult to liberate ourself to make things on our own
well, jaz do our best and Allah will do the rest

feel so much better

udah mulai kerja lagi nih
males sih sebenernya but i'm happy bisa ngenet lagi sepuasnya,huehueheuhueuehue...
masuk tinggal 27&28 desember trus libur lagi sampe tgl 2 januari 2008,senangnyaaa...
i feel soooo much better than before
apalagi semalem gw, icha, dan anti ketemuan di castle burger kalimalang untuk sekedar ngobrol2 plus sekalian kasih oleh2 setelah gw pulang kampung a couple days ago
curhat2an peristiwa memilukan tentang gw gitu ceritanya...*pheeeww...
ketemuannya dah hampir jam 8 pm something
yg dateng duluan anti, trus baru gw dan icha yg bawa temennya mega...
setelah icha dateng barulah gw tumpahkan segala kekecewaan, duka lara, angkara murka dan kekecewaan yg membuncah didalam dada, legaaaaaaaaaaaaaa banget rasanya..*halah, bahasa gw ko gitu bgt yah?hehehe (thx ya gals, luv u so much forever and ever)
abis itu baru deh ngebahas kebodohan gw yg selaluuuuu aja ketipu sama laki2 buaya buntung yg awalnya pura2 baik buat ngelabuhin gw, shit!!
cerita2 soal mantan2 gw yg juga temen2 anti dan icha, hahahaha gila yah kayanya mang gw yg suka sama tipe2 bad boys, aneeehhhh bgt nih gw, hahahahaha
mang kelemahan gw kl dah sayang sama orang ya gitu "everthing i do, i do it for u" lah
salah tuh kaya gitu, terlalu all out tapi mang itulah gw!!
jadi kadang orang yg ga punya niat jahat sama gw jadi semena2, hiks ketulusan gw dibales kepalsuan...
biarlaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh, yg penting i gave my best to him, nanti juga ada balesannya...*menghibur diri nih sebenernya,hikhik
Ya Allah, kenapa yah lagi2 gw ketipu "over and over again" sama kebaikan semu laki2 yg gw yakinin "the rite man" tapi ternyata malah "the rite looser man"
sebenernya gw sedih, maluuuu, kecewa, marrrrraaaah , gondok, keseeeellll bgt @#%%((&^$$ ##*&)%sh**, assh*** padahal dah 26 thn nih gw tahun depan, eh minggu depan ding tp ko masih gini giniiiiiiiii aja ya..*sigh,sutralaaahhh capek gw
tapi syukurlah, untungnyaaaa gw ga dibiarain lama2 terlena sama kepalsuannya, sebagai orang jawa masih aja mikirin untung yee, hehehe

kalo lagi kayak gini nih, kita baru bisa ngerasain mana temen beneran or not
alhamdulillah, bersyukuuuuur bgt...i'm so very lucky to have a few of best frens in my life, they would never leave me all alone and always be there when i need them
so aku gapernah kesepian deeeeeeehhh
for happiness or sorrow, in heaven or hell, in good or bad time, they will always be here next to me, showing me that they care for me
thx Allah

all i have to do is jaz waiting for the answer of my pray
Allah gives me what i need not what i want
because everthing we did, whether it's a good or a bad thing will back to us somehow

we'll see guys,
what's gonna be happened next
hopefully, some beautiful things happen to me soon, rite away...!!!amiiiinnnnn
oya, gw kan janji mau posting jalan2 gw ke semarang liburan kemaren ya
next posting deh, gw mau kerja dulu dikit kali yeee,hehehe